Verdict: Badass (Samurai Champloo)

First, listen to this, and then tell me this isn't likely to be the most badass anime you've ever seen.

Right?

So this is the first anime directed by Shinichiro Watanabe since Cowboy Bebop, and it's pretty damned stylish. Which is good, because it's pretty shallow in terms of plot.

Basically, you have this girl, Fuu. Hold on, I'll get a picture.

Yeah that's a pretty common expression of hers.

She's a kinda gangly fifteen year old with some kind of personality disorder (I think they call it being a teenager, actually). Anyway, she's working as a waitress in a crappy place with abusive customers, when she's saved by not one, but two guys.

One's a reckless, violent ex-con named Mugen.

Mugen needs a shave most of the time.

And the other's a restrained, violent ronin named Jin.

He only wears glasses some of the time.

The majority of the series is spent on a quest to find the "Samurai Who Smells Like Sunflowers". For the most part, you're left wondering if such a guy even exists, or if it's something Fuu's come up with to give her pals something to do to keep their minds of killing one another. Did I mention they want to kill one another?

From the manga, I think.

Yeah, they want to kill one another.

So basically, the show's about how they can go from town to town, making the world a better place by going against their worse natures, and/or how a slightly annoying but well-meaning fifteen-year-old girl can make two sociopaths useful to society.

"Society?"

Whatever. Deep down, beneath the rage issues and body count, they're decent guys. It's a pretty cool show.

Verdict: Badass. Also: three and a half Samurai Champloo vinyls out of five.

I'm getting closer to "on time" (Blast of Tempest / The Civilization Blaster)

So, this happened.

Yes. That is a picture Celty sent me of a hole where a sign used to be. No, I did not get arrested. Yes, there is the possibility someone may have been hurt. No, sadly it wasn't Izaya. That is all I'm going to say about that.

So this time I'm talking about an anime called "Blast of Tempest", or sometimes "The Civilization Blaster" or just "Zetsuen no Tenpestuo". Shakespeare references, ahoy.

This is a really recent one by Bones, with US licensing by Aniplex, and it only finished at the end of March. It's set in an interesting alternate near-future Japan, and features two not-so-friendly friends, Yoshino (Yoshino Takigawa) and Mahiro (Mahiro Fuwa), who reconnect after about a year's absence in front of Mahiro's family grave. Why is Yoshino visiting the Fuwa family grave? Now there's a good question (I won't tell you the answer to because: spoilers).

So it's a magic-is-real, maybe-aliens, end-of-the-world-with-possible-redemption anime, that tries to balance itself between Shakespeare's The Tempest and Hamlet. Through the whole thing, the main characters want to know which one it's all going to end like: is everyone going to get away miraculously fine, like they do in the Tempest, or is everyone going to drop dead like they do in Hamlet. Yeah, I know that was a spoiler for Hamlet, but I swear to god, if I can't talk about the ending of a 400-year-old play then we've taken this whole spoiler thing too damned far.

Now, you know me. I love a good love story. I also hate a bad love story. So Hamlet's right up there in my conflicted zone. He's such an a$$hole in the way he treats Ophelia that she offs herself, but he does the right, you know, "poetic" thing in the end I guess. So the whole time you're watching this you're going: "am I going to want to break the TV?" I won't tell you if I had to get a new TV.

It also does some clever things with time travel. Again, because of spoilers I can't tell you what they are, but it's pretty clever, and I'm fairly impressed by it. But I'm not some genius, so don't ask me if it actually makes sense. They sell it well, and that's all I care about.

Anyway, this is Yoshino (I don't get the stitches in his hair).

This is Mahiro (I like his hair).

This is Hakaze Kusaribe, head of the Kusaribe clan (and the only folks who can use magic... supposedly). She's what you'd call "trouble".

And this is Aika Fuwa. Notice the family name. Notice Hamlet. Notice the family name again. Enough said. Also Trouble.

Oh, and this pervert is Junichirou Hoshimura. He's pretty funny, and I'd love to know his self defense secrets.

The whole thing revolves around the struggle between two "trees" (gods? alien beings? WMDs?) called the Tree of Genesis and the Tree of Exodus. Somebody wants the Tree of Genesis out of the way, and tried to revive the Tree of Exodus, but to do that they need Hakaze out of the way, since she's the "Mage of Genesis" and is pretty much unstoppable. She ropes in Yoshino and Mahiro to help her out, and mayhem ensues.

Overall it's clever, at times cute, and because of Junichirou, pretty funny. It goes from emotional to slapstick at the drop of a hat, and aside from being pretty predictable at times (maybe I've read Hamlet too often) it's a lot of fun. I didn't like it as much as Eden of the East or The Future Diary, but I wouldn't have watched the whole thing if it weren't worth it. I'll give it 3 and a half weird little coconut dolls out of five.

                          

Goddamnit Tanaka (The Future Diary)

I swear, I've shaken down so many pieces of lovesick sharkbait¹ this last week that it's interfering with my life. Tanaka pays overtime though. I guess that's pretty decent of him.

So anyway this is late.

This post is about an anime called The Future Diary. I decided to continue with the magic cellphone theme from the last post and go with actually magical cellphones.

Look: key art.

Alright. This one is even more like Battle Royale, but crazier because it adds in a whole "god of space and time" element. Oh and a crazy stalker love affair and demigods. With cellphones.

It starts with this middle school loner (yeah, I know they all do) named Yukiteru Amano -- from here on I'll call him "Yuki". Yuki's such a loner that he's created an imaginary world in his head complete with crazy looking "people" he talks to -- Deus Ex Machina, and Muru Muru (Murmur). Hold on, I'll get screen grabs.

This is Yuki, looking terrfied. As he does.

This is Yuno (she with the crazy eyes).

This is Deus Ex Machina (I know, right? What is he even? Is that his skull?)

 And this pipsqueak is Murmur.

So the basic plot is that these imaginary folks are actually real (which is a bit of a relief, honestly, because you'd think sitting under your sheets and talking to imaginary people would be a bad sign otherwise). Deus Ex gives Yuki a cellphone that tells him his future. Just his own. And he's playing a game (read: battle to the death) with eleven other cellphone users, each of whose cellphones tell them different things. Whoever lives gets to be the new Deus Ex, ruler of space and time. They have to destroy the other cellphones -- and when they do their users bite it.

Now, going around killing people isn't really a middle-schooler's normal cup of oolong, if you get my drift. But don't worry, Deus Ex has rigged the game a little, and given our brave little pacifist a claws-out, knife-in-the-brainpan girlfriend.

Oh yeah, she's totally sane.

Did I mention he doesn't know she's his girlfriend? I don't really know much about the stalker trope, but man these anime seem to get a kick out of it. Anyway. She's, uh, special. And she wants to protect her Yuki (play ominous music here).

So it's a blood-soaked, nutty ride through the magical world of love and ultra-violence, and it's strangely touching at times. It also has some pretty awesome time-travel-recursive-parallel-universe-stuff that's a little mind-blowing. I may have exercised twice as long to watch the last two episodes together.

A little less original than Eden of the East, and a lot more violent, but overall a fun ride. I give it four crazy eyes out of five.

Next time I'll really post on Sunday.



1. loanshark customers doing it because their women -- the women they wish were their women, that is -- love money and they don't have any

Eden of the East (II)

Right. I remember now. Nextflix and Hulu Plus both have it. That's fine. Netflix always goes with the subbed versions, which makes me die a little inside when the voice acting is bad. A couple of TVs have gone out the window because of that, so I don't watch them subbed much anymore.

So it's like a cross between Battle Royale and the Bourne Identity, with a little bit of romantic comedy thrown in for seasoning. A lot of that rom-com is in the music.

Anyway, it starts with these two:

The girl on the right, that's Saki Morimi. She's a 22-year old, finishing up her last year of college, and on a trip to Washington D.C.. That's where she meets the clown on the left, Akira Takazawa. She's about to get in trouble with some cops for tossing something at the White House, when he shows up naked, with nothing but a fancy cellphone, a gun, and a hole in his head where his memories used to be. Since he distracts the cops (and since he's, you know, bare ass to the wind) she gives him her hat, scarf, and pretty pink coat, which he runs off in, looking like a flasher with a terrible fashion sense.

Of course Saki's passport is in her coat, so she runs off in search of him.

Basically, he's part of a game. There's twelve "seleçāo" -- that's Portuguese for "selection," and they're playing this "game" set up by one "Mr. Outside". Each one was given ¥10-billion, and a cellphone that connects them to "Juiz" -- a helper who can make anything happen, for a price. They're trying to be the first to "save Japan," in whatever way they can.

But there are some catches. If they use the money selfishly, or if they run out of money, a guy named "The Supporter" will find them, and kill them.

It's an interesting series. Akira's a great liar, but he always seems to use it for a good cause, even if it makes you worry that he's really some terrorist or something. Saki's kind of hopeless, but endearing enough, always looking for her prince charming. Her friends are pretty cool. They start this social networking site for NEETs (Not in Employment, Education, or Training) called "Eden of the East" -- one of them kind of reminds me of this kid I know in Ikebukuro, but whatever -- and it becomes pretty important in the way things turn out.

I don't want to ruin it though, so go watch it yourself. I give it four and a half naked Akira Takazawas out of five.

Eden of the East

Oh, god. When did I even watch this? Two years ago? I knew this was going to be a bad idea. I started watching these series when I busted my shoulder, and this one was the first one I saw. It was really good, I remember that. Hold on, I'm going to go refresh my memory.

What the hell.

Celty said I should do this. I just want to make sure you get that bit first. This isn't my idea. Something about working on my social skills, which, at 28, I should have probably developed by now.

Anyway, I busted my shoulder. About two years ago. Celty said it wouldn't happen so often if I worked out -- something about "getting my body used to aging," -- so in my time off from following Tanaka around I started a routine.

Let me tell you something: exercising is dull.

So I thought, whatever. I'll watch some of the stuff Kasuka does. It's not like people don't get paid to be in it, right? Gotta be something worth watching. It's amazing how fast you can get through it when you're exercising every day. And now she keeps asking "what are you watching?" because that Shinra keeps asking, and as a rule I don't talk to him unless I'm bleeding out.

So fine. On the weekends I'll tell you about what I'm watching. We'll see if this pans out.